28/03/2019 | WEDDING
This week, I’m exploring the treacherous world of adults-only weddings…
*Cue dramatic music*
Now, we all know that your wedding day is precisely that.
Meaning that, ultimately, you get to make the decision as to who’s going to be on your final guest list.
But we all know it’s not always that simple. Especially when it comes to deciding to exclude children from your wedding.
To help you out, I’ve drawn up a list of my 6 top tips when it comes to telling your friends & family that kids just aren’t allowed.
Scroll down for more!
#1 Tell them directly
Having the confidence to tell someone something difficult to their face earns far more respect (and provides far more clarity) than writing to them or letting them hear through word of mouth.
So when it comes to telling your guests that your wedding is going to be an adults-only affair, make sure you tell them directly as much as possible.
A quick phone call will suffice.
But it’s enough to make the message clear – which is precisely what you want!
Trust me, you don’t want someone turning up on your wedding day with 3 children in tow, and a ton of other angry guests who had to pay for child care for the day…
Not a good look.
#2 Add this information to your wedding website
Your wedding website is precisely the kind of place to include important information about your wedding day.
So be sure to remind your guests here that your celebration is to be an adults-only affair.
If you wanted to, at this point, you could also include babysitting options in the local area for any parents who are travelling for the occasion and would prefer not to leave their children at home.
After all, if making your wedding child-free could be a problem for some of your guests. The best thing you can try to do is be sympathetic and attempt to offer a solution!
“If anyone needs help making arrangements for child care, please let us know & we’ll do our best to assist.”
#3 Make the line clear
Sometimes, couples will say that their wedding is ‘adults-mostly’ or an ‘adults-only reception’.
But for me, this leaves far too much room for movement, & bending of the rules.
Because we all know that you’ll definitely have more than one child who craves the attention of their parents during this ‘adults-only’ time.
Leaving you in the difficult (and uncomfortable) situation where some guests will have their children at the reception, whilst others adhere to your wishes.
Worse, even! Some of your guests might have to forgo your reception altogether if they feel their child needs comforting or attention because they’re apart from them.
Keep it simple. Keep it clear.
If you don’t want children at your wedding, then make it clear that the day is for 16+/18+ only.
I truly believe that introducing ‘adults-only’ portions of your wedding day will result in confusion and upset kids and parents.
#4 Don’t waver
Even once you’ve done all of this, you could receive some push back or frustration – especially from close friends & family who could be confused as to why you’re not inviting your ‘favourite niece’ to your special day.
Just remember that you and your partner made the choice to have an ‘adults-only’ wedding for a reason.
So don’t give in now.
Simply address the issues or the upset, explain that you understand their frustration. But that they should also respect your wishes as a couple to have a wedding free of children.
It’s that simple.
#5 Explain yourself
You might think it’s good enough to tell people that they can’t bring children.
But for many, it will lighten the burden if you can simply explain why you’re asking them to leave their beloved kids out of your celebrations.
This will allow your guests to understand your reasoning – instead of being made to feel like they’re being punished simply for having children.
Top Tip: Think about explaining to your guests here that you want everyone to be able to ‘relax’, ‘dust of their dancing shoes’, or ‘enjoy themselves’ whilst a sitter looks after their children. It doesn’t have to be an excuse for your decision, but by doing this, at least the parents feel you’ve made the choice for theirbenefit.
#6 Alternative arrangements
If you’re worried that having an ‘adults-only’ wedding could prevent some of your guests from even turning up, then you could look to organise alternative arrangements for guests with kids.
This could be as simple as a local children’s club or nursery.
But it means that parents who are travelling far to come to your celebrations can attend without leaving their children hundreds of miles away with a sitter.
I hope this has been of some help to any of you trying to figure out how to tell friends & family that you wedding day is an adults-only affair!
Comment below if you’ve had any experience telling your friends & family…